Life Through a Kaleidoscope

My father raised me on the idea that life, in memory, is composed of brief flashes. Flashes of impactful moments that can or do change the direction of your life. Though I recognize the validity in my father’s opinion, I can’t say I agree. Perhaps we just digress on what ‘impactful’ moments are. To my father, impactful moments are my birth, his immigration, hanging from a telephone line off the flesh of his stomach, moments that completely did or could have changed the course of his life. To me, impactful moments are much more varied.

I find that life is composed of mundane day-to-day tasks, forgetful interactions, the elements that make our lives what they are, the works. My humanity and life lay in these moments, and as such I must value them. It is worth mentioning that this very mentality was the only way I could keep myself alive. Hard to believe as it may be, the smell of my lover's cologne, the warmth of his embrace, the excitement of my dog when I wake in the mornings, the comradery of my friendships, the cool, Florida breeze after a hurricane, the moments where the sun shines through a crowd so particularly that the world looks like an American film about Mexico are all things that have kept me alive and I value as impactful moments.

Lately I’ve been met with a new favorite series of moments, sometimes moments that when lived I’d met with frustration or sadness. I’d never known an intimacy so profound it invades these moments so. I never thought I’d value so deeply the sound of his voice, the sensation of it vibrating in his chest as I lay there and just listen. I never thought I’d value so deeply the warmth of his body, especially when entangled with mine or when freshly woken. I never thought I’d value so deeply the comfort of his lips on my face, on my body.

These moments have quickly become instinct, routine, but by no means mundane­– and yet, they will forever be impactful moments to be replayed in my memory. Maybe my father was right, and I am simply lucky enough to experience a love so impactful it occupies infinitely many slots of my allotted memories in this life.